Parting with loved ones never gets any easier, no matter how many times you go through the same experience. Even though grief is a universal experience, it is simultaneously extremely personal. Although everyone experiences grief at some point in their lives, their experience is unique. There are no rules for the right and wrong of grieving. You might feel detached, or you might be more emotionally charged most of the time. Either way, how you experience grief is personal, and there’s nothing wrong with it.
However, some coping mechanisms may be harmful to you. What seems like a good idea is only detrimental to you in the long run. Advice like “keep busy” or “get over it” or indulging in substances for temporary relief will neither provide you the closure you need nor long-term satisfaction. So, here is a guide to give tips for good grieving.
The first yet most important thing you need to do is acknowledge your feelings. Don’t repress how upset you feel or how painful the experience is. If you suppress your emotions at this stage, your subconscious will still be storing all that pain, and there is a possibility that one day, it might burst out in the form of a breakdown. It is essential to carefully become aware of and acknowledge all the complicated things you feel. The first step to change is awareness.
Funerals can be heart-wrenching. You relive your best memories with the deceased, and the fact that you cannot experience them again is heartbreaking. However, as sad and upsetting as the occasion is, you must honor the legacy of the deceased. Celebrate their life by talking about all the good they did and all the hearts they touched. Relive your happiest memories of them with all your loved ones, so the occasion ends on a high, hopeful note.
There’s no time frame for grieving. You could grieve for a couple of days or even years on end. At its core, grief is uncontrollable – you can’t decide when to stop grieving. It is essential that you realize that you don’t have to “get over” anything faster. Give yourself all the time in the world to heal from your grief.
Kindness during such a hard time is a must. It would be best if you were kind to yourself and others who are going through the same experience. Treat yourself with love and compassion. Don’t burden yourself for grieving or not healing faster. Be patient with yourself and with others: empathy is key.
Whether it is from a family member, friend, support group, or therapist, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Although grief is a personal experience, that doesn’t mean you should have to get through that painful time all alone. Recognize that you have people to look out for you whenever you want to receive some support, so don’t hesitate to ask for a kind word or a shoulder to cry on.
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