Dating After Divorce – 5 Powerful Steps to Regaining Your Confidence

When someone leaves our life it takes time to adjust, even when it was our choice for it to happen. Not only that, future plans are thrown out too. The life you knew is no longer possible and fresh plans have to be decided going forwards.

Divorce is an expensive process and not just in financial terms. Experiencing a hit to self-esteem is extremely common. We might also feel energy depleted from the sheer stress of the experience. As a result, our personal confidence can plummet leaving depression and anxiety in its place.

So—how can we regain our confidence after divorce in the most positive way possible?

Here are 5 impactful steps to take:

  1. Allow yourself space to heal. This isn’t just any break-up. Divorce is something that requires deep healing in order to move on fully and healthily. Be kind to yourself and generous with how much time and energy you allow to recover from what you’ve been through.
  2. Recognize your achievements. Did you break into laughter without thinking today? Did you introduce yourself to someone new at work? These are huge successes post-divorce, and they deserve celebrating. Every personal accomplishment is another step forwards in your journey.
  3. Bring in the professionals. No one can prepare for the experience of divorce. Hiring a coach or therapist who can guide you in the right direction is a fantastic investment in your healing. Choose a black therapist or black coach who will understand your pathway and your needs.
  4. Take your time and follow your gut. Venturing back on to the dating scene can feel intimidating. Will you experience the kind of black love you’ve had in the past, or that you desire right now? Let your gut be your dating guide. It will tell you if someone’s a good match and when you need to take a restorative rest-stop.
  5. Be forgiving of yourself. You did not set out in life pursuing divorce and it’s not your fault that life has worked out this way. Perhaps you can learn some lessons from your experiences which will help you in future, but don’t waste time or energy on blaming yourself. Be kind to yourself and never forget that you are (still) worthy of true love.

The fact that you’re reading this article right now highlights the fact that you have enough strength and desire within you to move on from your divorce and to seek healthy, joyful love in your life. Your presence here is a great indicator that your intentions are in the right place.

You are an amazing person with a full menu of gifts to offer someone in the future. Your divorce does not define you any more than any other challenge you have faced so far in your life. Take a deep breath, roll those shoulders back, and rejoice in who you are. You’re worth it!

If you are ready to work through some issues that still exist contact me or someone from my team.

Talk soon,
Melisa Alaba

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