“Self-care” has become the new buzzword for putting yourself first. However, the problem is that many people equate self-care to things like getting their hair done, sitting for a mani-pedi or relaxing during that incredibly special massage.
The truth is self-care is a collection of rituals that must be done on the regular to give you that invigorated feeling you so desire. So, let’s dive right in and figure out why your self-care regimen is failing you so you can create some juicy new rituals that will bring you back to life.
Here are my top seven reasons why many of my clients’ self-care routines are not working. Check to see if you recognize any signs that may be holding you back.
Your self-care regimen may be failing you if you do not have a customized plan. You may be doing things to feel better but do not align with your spirit or authentic self, such as trying to relax on a walk with your children when you really need some time to yourself. Even worse, you may have picked the perfect activities, such as dancing or a Pilates class, but you’re not doing them often enough to truly feed your soul.
Have you checked your boundaries lately? Yasss. Poor boundaries with co-workers, children or your lover can leave you depleted. It is so easy to fall in the category of saying yes to everything and then wonder why you feel angry, depleted or worn out.
What do you need, sis? When was the last time you checked in with yourself? Take a few minutes and figure out what you want right now. Maybe a bath would be great, or grabbing takeout so you can relax this evening would really hit the spot. It is okay to do what feels good for you. So many times, we put everyone else before us, but good self-care requires that we keep ourselves on the agenda.
Are you addicted to the quick fix? Remember when a cup of Starbucks or shopping splurge would make you feel better? In these ever-changing times, that quick fix just will not do. Working from home has it perks, but if you have children or hubby on deck also, the quick fix will not get you through this season.
Maybe you are just waiting for someone to offer help. This used to be me! I just knew if I gave to my kids, husband and family, someone would say, “Hey, let me get that!” But that time never came (okay, maybe on Mother’s Day). Yasss, self-care will require you to be a little selfish so you can get the nourishment that your body, mind, and soul desire so deeply.
Am I worthy? If you came from a family that taught that you had to earn your place in life, you may neglect yourself because you really do not believe you are worthy of being deeply cared for. I am here to tell you it ain’t so, sis. You are worthy just because.
Lastly, your self-care regimen may not be working if you are a perfectionist. Do you honestly believe that if you are not around to manage every aspect of your household, things will not get done correctly? It is time to give yourself permission to let it go and embrace a more fulfilled life.
Only you can dig deep and figure out what is missing and what needs to be healed so you can have an extraordinarily awesome life.
Are you ready to get to work? Give me call and let’s get started with building rituals that feed and nurture the queen in you.